post-show blues... or not

The show is done. It was only yesterday, and it feels like ages. It feels so distant. This is my favourite matephor: it feels like a dream.
I congraduate myself on being able to annoyed some people, and impressed other by doing exactly the same thing. I am so glad that I turn out not being too ridiculous, and stupid. I promise, I will only get better from now on.
Thats all for now, I know i am lasy

ps. the key on my keyboard for the last alphabet is officially dead. pardon me when i use "s" instead of the alphabet that cannot be typed.

Happy Birthday my love

Today is my love's birthday, but I didn't send anything, I have even missed his call. I tried to call back, but it couldn't get through.

I feel guilty and rubbish. I really feel sad. Am I not a competent girlfriend? Among my mates, I am always the one who is not sensetive about birthdays, and I am sometimes blamed as heartless. Well, now it proves that I am not putting boys before friends, I am just so insensitive... maybe not caring... but I cannot admit that I am not caring. I may be careless, but I am not care-less. I do care, I do care a lot. First of all, I do remember. Secondly, as I have written down a week ago in Chinese, I planned to do sth.

Birthday is the most important day for a person, because one wouldn't have existed without a birthday. That's why I know I shouldn't be down on this important day of my beloved one. I am grateful that the day has brought my beloved to life, and his family as well. This should be a day for me to celebrate, a baby was born on this day who has grown into a lovely man.

My love, I wish you a fabulous year, and more fabulous years to come.

yours,
Joyce

Bad habbit

Sense of uneasiness is creeping on me again... There seems a lot to be done, tasks and feelings get mixed up together in a bundle, which I am too frightened to disentangle. Such feelings paralyzed me, knots in the bundle are then tied up even tighter.

It makes me feel like a loser.

mass dance

Have seen this T-mobile dance earlier this year, think it was brilliant and a lot of fun



now somebody has used the same idea to pay tribute to MJ. So tempted to do the same in HK...

reminder

明天要寫封信並寄出
一星期後便是他生日了

Country road take me home to the place where I belong

Me: I am gonna be back to England late Aug...

Friend: Since when you are going "back" to England instead of going "to" England???

Well, it's such an ideological question. I guess it was since when I have somewhere to belong. Isn't it just great to have somewhere you can go back to all the time? I am going back to HK, and then I am going back to England. Always feeling like home, always feeling belonged. Isn't it great to be a bird without legs?

Its difficult

Creating a theatre piece is a long process... its not like building a house, which you pile bricks on top of bricks, stacking it up and seeing it getting closer to finish. if it is compared to building a house, it means u'll have to pile up bricks, go away and look at it from a distance, knock it down and pick the bricks you want from the debris, build the whole thing again, go away and look at it, and repeat the whole thing again until..... then time is up....

there is no limit to "beauty"/ "sublime". we always say time's not enough, or we could do better given more time, and which is always true. therefore we can only constrain ourselve to time limit. we, or I, always blame the time. It turns out to be an existential problem...... ???

____________________________

Google Street really does help to ease homesick

shedding piercing

It sounds horrible, and impossible, but it is exactly what happens to me. I predict in 1 week's time, my beloved momerable eyebrow piercing is biding me farewel. I think this case can be conuted as an urban legend.

It's a massive shame, as I still like it so much. It's a saddening shame, as I did it for my 24th birthday. It's like losing a gift.

I don't know, I may do it again. Or I might get a tattoo somewhere, in case a replacement piercing may shed too. Or will I just shed my skin to get rid of the tattoo as well?

I start to be convinced that my recovering ablity is impressive. What happen now is, like, expelling external matelic object by growing flesh that fills the punched hole.

苦悶又來襲

苦悶又來襲

很多時, 在香港不忙時就會覺得很悶. 回港的這幾天, 都是是旦旦隔離一下自己. 又可能是時差, 整天感覺怪怪的. 不是完全沒事做, 但是有事提不起勁做...

好, 寫下一個工作表, 提醒下自己:

- 申請VISA
- 申請獎學金
- 寫THESIS
- 寫劇本
- 排戲/製作

好了, 大致是這樣.
BOB教我的, 找一張白紙, 寫詳細的每一步. 然後每做好一步就劃一劃, 感覺就會有成功感一點.

殘酷劇場

"殘酷"應該不是形容殘酷劇場最好的詞語

這裡的"殘酷"不是指血腥, 暴力或是折磨, 而是指最赤裸裸, 最直接的現實呈現. 在殘酷劇場裡, 我們已不想再用被形式及社會馴服了的符號所控制. 我們想創造出一套人與人之間能直接感通的詞彙. 不再用玫瑰代表愛情, 白色代表純潔, 月亮代表我的心.

就是因為這樣, 我們已沒有一個字詞能正確表達出什麼叫"殘酷劇場". 如果要讀懂莎士比亞, 代表先要學好你的英語, 那麼能讀莎士比亞就代表你是人上人. 如果要懂看劇場, 代表先要接受劇場形式洗禮, 那麼戲劇欣賞代表戲劇只是少眾人的玩意. 那麼我們並不需要劇場, 或者說, 劇場不是必要的. 因為我們還有電影, 小說, 音樂......

但劇場並不是這樣的. 在劇場裡, 觀眾與演員共同擁有的是人類的身體. 無論你讀幾多書, 你傷心時會想哭, 無論你幾有錢, 被打時會痛. 就如當你看見別人吃酸梅時, 你不期然分泌出口沫. 我知道, 如果你是要不聽, 我講幾多都沒有用. 但如果我打你, 你無辦法不痛. 在劇場裡, 我不會打人, 但我們希望尋找出一套劇場語言, 令你無法躲避, 無法不作出反應.